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Experts: COVID-19 has caused a spike in relationship counseling

Mental health and relationship experts say effective communication skills are crucial when it comes to navigating traumatic events like the pandemic.

BUFFALO, N.Y. — The pandemic and everything that goes along with it, from politics to vaccines, has been a big source of stress and topic of discussion in households across the world for over a year and a half. Which is why mental health and relationship experts say they're seeing more couples and families looking for coaching.

Stress, trauma, and fear are difficult to navigate alone. But they can be even more challenging to navigate when considering the toll they can take on relationships. 

Nicole Mosey is a licensed mental health counselor in Buffalo and founder of Core Mental Health Counseling and says the emotional weight of the pandemic and the unexpected changes it brought along with it are reason enough to cause friction, and that's normal.

"It's been a very heavy topic for a long period of time," Mosey said.

Which is why practicing basic effective communication skills is a great way to change the tone of any conversation, and possibly the outcome.

Mosey tells 2 On Your Side, "It can be very complex." 

She continues, "But if we kind of break it down to some of these basic skills, my hope is that it doesn't polarize people in this topic as much, and maybe we can work on connection and communication, as a whole."

Being direct when communicating and using "I" statements instead of "you" statements is one way to share your feelings effectively, without accusing someone or pointing the finger.

"Empathy is a big one. Just trying to look at different perspectives, even if you're not changing yours, just hearing what other people are saying can go a long way," Mosey said.

Mosey suggests active listening and practicing validation, especially of someone else's feelings, when talking to another person. Listening without expectation, she says, is a great skill because it allows the other person to speak freely and helps the ear to listen without defense. 

"Often just repeating back to the other person, what you're hearing them say can be very powerful," Mosey says.

By nature, "and" statements are more inclusive than "but" statements, being inclusive as opposed to exclusive creates a safer safe for people to share their feelings.

With all the loss going around, people are feeling traumatized. Mosey says try hard to personalize your fear - be it around your job, health, children. etc. If people have an understanding as to why you feel the way you feel, it's more likely they will be open-minded when it comes to having these difficult discussions. 

Lastly, remember that this is a moment in time. While it may be lasting longer than expected, Mosey says, remembering that this too shall pass will help.

And if after all of this you are still in need of help, Mosey suggests you reach out to an expert, asking for help can make all the difference sometimes. 

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