BUFFALO, N.Y. — Kim Bihler will always remember her son Tyler as an energetic, compassionate 9-year-old with a beautiful singing voice and an infectious smile.
And whenever she returns to Washington West Elementary School in Olean, that’s how everyone else remembers him too.
"So much happened here,” said Kim, reflecting her final year of memories with Tyler, sitting on the oversized school bench dedicated to his memory. “He would make sure he came to school, he never missed one day. He had so many friends here, and everybody was so good to him."
In 2004, Tyler was diagnosed with Diffuse Pontine Glioma.
Kim can still remember the doctor telling her it only affects 250 people in the United States.
She can also remember when the doctor said the tumor was on Tyler’s brain stem: inoperable, and with no known cure or treatment available.
“They said usually 6 months to a year is how long you make it,” said Kim. “He made it to the following year on the exact day."
But Kim— along with Tyler’s aunt and uncle, Lori and Jeff Anastasia— were determined to keep Tyler’s memory in the best way they could.
And that’s how Tyler’s Teddy Bears & Friends was born.
Now in its 7th year, the annual toy drive represents two qualities of Tyler that really shined during his final year of life.
The first one, according to Tyler’s uncle Jeff, was his toughness and determination.
Jeff remembers one specific morning in his P.E. class, where Tyler was determined to run 26 laps around the school gym.
“We'd do fitness testing, and one of the parts of the fitness test is the mile run,” reflected Jeff. “I [told Tyler] 'I think you should just sit out.' And he goes 'Uncle Jeff, I want to do it.' With the steroids and the brain tumor and the way it was affecting him, he probably went another 4 or 5 laps and he hit the floor so hard... I was really worried he’d seriously hurt himself. And I ran up to him and said 'Tyler you're done,' and he said 'Uncle Jeff, I'm going to finish this.'"
And finish it, he did.
That toughness is one of many character qualities Tyler’s family looks for as they choose a pair of high school students to receive a special honor each year.
"What we wanted to do was keep his memory alive,” said Tyler’s aunt Lori. “So we started up a scholarship at the Olean High School, and so $1,000 goes to a deserving boy, a $1,000 goes to a deserving girl."
But there’s another reason why the family chose to use teddy bears and other stuffed animals to remember Tyler.
In his final year, in between trips from Olean to the children’s hospital in Buffalo, Tyler and Kim found joy in Build-A-Bears.
It was one of the things that kept that infectious smile going.
"He had so many, and when he died we buried them all with him, like they couldn't even shut it,” Kim laughed. “He loved them."
So this year, they’re bringing 120 stuffed animals to the children and families at Oishei Children’s Hospital, to spread joy and hope and that infectious smile with other children who need it.
“We know what it’s like to be in their shoes,” said Lori. “It feels good to give back. This is helpful to the family, it helps us to kind of work through it.”
Each year, the family asks for a different animal to be donated; along with bears, this year’s stuffed furry friend is a smiling hedgehog.
And whether it’s Lori hugging it tight, or a friend passing by Kim in the hallway, every can’t help but smile when they see the stuffed, furry critter.
But what would Tyler have thought of this toy drive being held in his honor?
“He would have loved it,” Kim said, reflectively. “He would have loved it.”
If you’d like to donate to the Tyler’s Teddy Bears and Friends, you can “adopt” a hedgehog for $25 each.
According to Kim, their biggest need now is making sure they have enough money in the fund to continue awarding their annual scholarship.
Any donations can be sent to:
Kim Bihler
313 1/2 North 13th Street
Olean, NY 14760
Or, you can call Lori Anastasia at (716) 801-0530.
The toy drive will continue through Friday, March 15th.